Swap — If You Can't Handle the Heat — Sin Bin

Saturday 30 November 2013

#MySexySaturday - My Sexy Man

Welcome to the 27th week of My Sexy Saturday.
My sexy man. You know the one that I’m talking about. The one that’s dripping sex. The one that’s a living, breathing sex object. The one that the heroine is dying to meet. Or dreams about meeting. Yeah, that man. Those are the men that fill up those pages of our romances. And don’t we just love to read about them? Aren’t they hawt?

So give me those men.

We writers love to write about those sexy men. Yet, we all know that each of us has a different idea of sexy is in a man. It can be the boy next door, it can be the nerd in the next cubical, the construction worker we see from our window or the fireman that saves us. Sexy has nothing to do with looks or status or even wealth. It doesn’t demand perfection and it doesn’t have pretensions but it does make us want to read those books.

Yes, we all love sexy!

Week #27 ~ My Sexy Saturday ~ The rules are simple.

Post 7 paragraphs or 7 sentences or 7 words. The choice is yours. It can be from a WIP or something you already have published. 

 An unedited snippet from my upcoming family saga series  
Always Cambridge(EXtasy Books)

 Towering over him, he looked up at me expectantly, his lids heavy, dreamy. But I took a moment to admire him. His skin was such an amazing colour especially now all tanned and beautiful. It looked warm and inviting, begging to be touched, to be kissed, to be sucked. I knew he didn't work out much but it didn't matter. He was naturally muscularly built. It was like he didn't have to work at anything. God made him remarkably pleasing in every way. His eyes, his colouring, his hair, that perfect face and body. Grazing my fingers over his ribs, I traced the natural slope of his powerfully built core. My mouth dried out as I stared at him. Everything about him was sensual.


Hope you enjoyed the excerpt. Don't forget to check out the rest of this week's My Sexy Saturday participants from the list below.

Have a Sexy Saturday!

Thursday 28 November 2013

Wednesday 27 November 2013

Welcome N.R. Walker Author of Breaking Point @NR_Walker

Please welcome Totally Bound Alum, N.R. Walker for an author interview and a peek at her latest release Breaking Point, the second book in the Turning Point Series.
What was your favourite book as a child/teenager?

The Little Prince by Antione de Saint-Exupery

Who was the first author or what was the first book you read that introduced you to the genre that you most enjoy writing in?

The first m/m book I read, not including any slash fanfiction, was Breathe by Sloan Parker.  Needless to say, it was a great way to start…

Do you believe in love at first sight? And if so have you ever been so afflicted? Did you do anything about it? (Did you go for it?)

I do! I believe in instant connections, whether it be love or lust, or something in the universe telling you you needed to meet this person. There’s usually a reason behind it, this person was meant to be in your life for a reason. Sometimes it’s to change your life forever, and sometimes it’s just to make your day.

Is there a particular word you overuse or writing technique that your editor(s) ride you about?

Ugh. Lots. The one I notice more, and the one I’m consciously aware of when writing and change as I go, is the word ‘it’.  I will say, It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, where I should say Being left alone wasn’t a pleasant feeling.  Or It tasted awful, and I should elaborate and say The coffee tasted bitter.   I know it doesn’t always work, especially if the sentences before are leading into it, but it’s a reoccurring writer/editor problem.

I also have a tendency to start sentences or paragraphs with the word And or But.

Have you ever suffered from writer’s block? (Or do you even believe in it?) If so, how were you able to overcome it?

Oh, boy. I sure do. I’ve suffered through it. It was a few years ago, when I was writing fanfiction. I went eight weeks without the ability to write a word. Not one word. I would sit at my laptop, all keen, motivated, inspired and ready… and, and, and nothing.   I had no words.  Zero.

In the end, I started reading the story (250K words) from the very beginning as though someone else wrote it, and by the time I got the part where I was stuck, I knew the exact direction I had to go.  I had to change the last chapter slightly and presto! It worked. Usually when there’s a block, it means something isn’t right and you need to fix that before you can move forward.

More recently I’ve experienced writers exhaustion. It’s awful. Almost the opposite to writer’s block.  I have the words in my head ready to go, patient characters, but my brain is just mush.  I’m taking things easy at the moment, trying to reduce stress, but if anyone knows how to shut a writer’s brain up, some advice would be great. LOL

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

If money was no problem, I’d have a Chateau in the French Alps and a villa in Bora Bora.  LOL  Not that I have expensive taste or anything ;) Just a place to go when the season and mood takes me. Oh, plus I’ll need the wait staff to go along with these gorgeous places, and not having the need to work and pay mortgages.

If you could bring one of your own characters to life, who would it be and why?

Oh boy, great question…  Jeez, it’s like picking between your kids… Okay, I’d have to say Mark Gattison from my Blind Faith Series. Just for the laughs alone. J

What are you reading right now?

I haven’t started it, but it’s the next one in my Kindle ready to go, is S.A. McAuley’s Dominant Predator. It’s the sequel to One Breath, One Bullet. I’ve been meaning to read it for a while now, but life’s been busy.

When you read, do you prefer a stand-alone or a series?

I don’t mind a series, but I’ll be honest in saying if there’s more than four or five and it’s still not completed, I’d be hesitant to start. I don’t have that much time to read seven books in quick succession.   If I start a series when it’s first published and read them as they’re released, it’s different. But I doubt I’d start a series of say seven or eight books because I can’t commit to that right now.

If you were to do a reality show, which one would it be?

If there was a show called Master Procrastinator, I would win. Every year. LOL

What is the craziest, most exciting, or most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

I skydived. It was the first time I’d ever been a plane. LOL  It wasn’t until my second flight that I’d been in a plane when it landed.

Name a celebrity, athlete, musician, etc. you’d most like to get naughty with.

Oh good lord, how much time do you have?  LOL  My list is long. Can I give you my top five?  Daniel Feuerriegel, Daniel Craig, Jeremy Renner,  Jared Leto, Chris Pine.  

What is your favourite way to promote or connect with fans?

Facebook. It’s immediate and personal and I love that interaction.

Favourite movie?

The movie I can’t stop watching and am driving my family insane with is Star Trek (2009) and Star Trek: Into Darkness. I love them.

But if I had to say favourite movie of all time, I’d have to give The Wizard of Oz kudos. The fact it was made 74 years ago is incredible.
Dream Vacation?

Anywhere where there is no housework, no day job, no fighting kids and food delivered on request.  Oh, and free wifi. LOL

Dream Car?

An Aston Martin.

Favourite Ice Cream Flavour?

Boysenberry swirl.

What can readers look forward to next?

The second book in the Thomas Elkin Series, Clarity of Lines has a pre-release date with Totally Bound of December 13th.

Please tell us about your newest release.

Breaking Point is the second book in the Turning Point Series, in which we see the main character, Matthew Elliott struggling with the events of the first book. It’s a gritty, violent look at the underground fighting scene in LA. 

Author:  N.R.Walker

Title:  Breaking Point

Genre:  Gay romance

Publisher:  Totally Bound

Release Date: General release date November 22 2013

A fight for what's right becomes a fight for his life.

As guilt plagues him, Matthew Elliott’s world begins to spiral out of control. The harder he holds on, the more it slips through his fingers, and he’s helpless to stop it.

Entering into the underground cage-fighting scene, he starts out fighting for what’s right. The deeper he gets, the more guilt consumes him—the more pain he takes for his penance—and he’s soon fighting for more than justice.

He’s fighting for love.

He’s fighting for his life.


Kira came out of the bar, wide-eyed and with pure disappointment written all over his face. He threw his arm around my shoulder and led me forcefully to his car. He opened the door, and gritted his teeth. He was so fucking angry with me. He was so angry he couldn’t speak.

The entire trip home was quiet. Not a word, not a sound, nothing but my pulse hammering in my ears. When we got home, I followed him inside. He threw his keys on the kitchen counter, turned to me and finally he spoke. “Want to tell me what the fuck that was all about?”

I shook my head. “I don’t even know,” I answered, louder than I intended. I tried again quieter. “I don’t know. We were just talking about work”—then I corrected—“his work, and I said something about him having a new partner…” I shook my head at how easy the lies just spewed from my mouth.

“You might not work with them anymore, Matt,” Kira spat at me. “But I do. I have to face those guys every day! What the hell am I supposed to say them when I walk in to work tomorrow?”

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head, still too angry with me. I didn’t blame him one bit. “And Mitch?” he cried. “Your best friend! What the fuck am I supposed to say to Anna on Monday when I see her for class? You just tried to take her fiancé’s head off.”

“I’m sorry.”

He threw his hands up and stopped pacing to look at me. “Just what exactly are you sorry for?”

“I had my fists up at you,” I answered, on the verge of fucking tears. I shook my head. “I would never hurt you.”

His head fell back and he sighed through a frustrated groan. “Not physically, Matt. I know that. You put your hands down as soon as you saw it was me. I know you’d never physically hurt me,” he said with a calmness that scared me. “But emotionally…well, I just don’t even know what page you’re on anymore.”

“I’m dealing with everything the best I can,” I told him. Probably the first honest truth I’d said in far too long. Then like the idiot I was, realisation hit me that he could be trying to tell me goodbye. I gasped as a sudden pain ripped through my chest, and tears sprang to my eyes. “No.” I shook my head. “No, no.”

Kira looked at me, even more confused.

I sucked back a breath. “You can’t leave me.”

Kira’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. “I’m not leaving you, Matt. I’m fucking mad at you, but I’m not leaving.”

I almost sagged and my heart seemed to start beating again. “I’m so sorry.”

He walked over to me and sliding his hand around my head, he pulled me into his chest. “I’m worried about you.”

I nodded. “I’d be lost without you.”

“Matt, I said I’m worried about you,” he repeated. “Did you hear me?”

I nodded again. “I’m sorry.”

When he realised I wasn’t saying anything else, he said, “I’m going to bed.” It wasn’t an invitation, it wasn’t anything of the sort. It was a quiet, resigned, I-don’t-know-what-else-to-do thing to say.

And he left me standing alone in the kitchen.

I knew then, as much as I’d tried to deny it, or wish otherwise, I really knew then I’d crossed a line somewhere. And even though the whole fight at the bar was staged so Tressler wouldn’t discredit me, when I thought back to Mitch, Kurt and Tony in the bar, and the way they looked at me as I was being dragged out, I saw it on their faces.

Something I think I’d known for a little while.

I wasn’t a cop anymore.

Who am I?
Good question...
I am many things; a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer.
I have pretty, pretty boys who live in my head, who don't let me sleep at night unless I give them life with words.
I like it when they do dirty, dirty things...but I like it even more when they fall in love.
I used to think having people in my head talking to me was weird, until one day I happened across other writers who told me it was normal.
I've been writing ever since...


Email - nrwalker2103@gmail.com
Facebook - N.r. Walker
Facebook fan page - N.R.WalkerAuthor
Twitter - @NR_Walker
Goodreads - N.R. Walker
Blog: http://nrwalker.wordpress.com/

A full list of all participating stops in this blog tour!
Morticia Knight - http://morticiaknight.blogspot.com.au/
Lisabet Sarai - http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com.au/
S. Dora - http://sdora.wordpress.com/
West Thornhill - http://wthornhillauthor.blogspot.com.au/
Ashe Barker - http://ashebarker.com/
H K Carlton - http://pickagenrealready.blogspot.ca/
Nancy Adams - http://fancynancyadams.wix.com/erotic-nancy-adams
C.A. Szarek - http://www.caszarekwriter.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1
Desiree Holt - http://www.desireeholt.com/

Saturday 23 November 2013

#MySexySaturday - Anticipation


Welcome to the 26th week of My Sexy Saturday

Ever have a moment in a book where you just knew a sexy part was coming up? Remember the anticipation of two lovers coming undone, no matter if you saw a little or saw a lot? Everyone loves a good romance and those sexy parts can be wonderful. So can the anticipation of those parts. This week I want your sexy. I want to see everything that gives us that sexy thrill and then some. 

Writers love to write those sexy bits. Yet, we all know that each of us has a different idea of sexy. It can be the boy next door, that hot look, even the book you’re reading now. Sexy has nothing to do with looks or status or even wealth. It doesn’t demand perfection and it doesn’t have pretensions but it does make us want to read those books.

Yes, writers are readers and we all love sexy!

The Rules  Post 7 paragraphs or 7 sentences or 7 words

An unedited snippet from my upcoming family saga series Always Cambridge
He was overwhelming me again. As if this week away from him hadn’t heightened my obsessive need for him enough.   

I broke his hold on my lips. “Let’s go upstairs,” I breathed.

“And you think I’m presentable to walk through a crowd of people now?” He dropped his hips allowing me to feel his desire for me. He smoothed his hands down over my lower back coaxing me more fully against him.

“Walk behind me,” I said impatiently attempting to turn, but he held me. I looked up into his smouldering dark eyes, half-heavy with longing.

“I promised dancing...” he grinned.

“Yes, naked, as I recall...” And I couldn't wait to get him that way.

“What’s the hurry?" He was enjoying my eagerness.
 “It’s been a week. I need you now.” I admitted.


Hope you enjoyed the excerpt. Don't forget to check out the rest of this week's My Sexy Saturday participants from the list below.

Have a Sexy Saturday!

Monday 18 November 2013

New From Lisabet Sarai - Her Secret Ingredient

Her Secret Ingredient – M/F/M BDSM Erotic Romance from Lisabet Sarai

Available 15 November from Totally Bound: https://www.totallybound.com/her-secret-ingredient

Buy from Totally Bound and get a sizzling extra chapter, available only to TB VIP readers!

Her Secret Ingredient by Lisabet Sarai


Stir in a pinch to stir up his passion

When the Tastes of France food channel offers Mei Lee “Emily” Wong a series of guest spots, she jumps at the opportunity to take her culinary career to a whole new level. Ultimately, she wants a show of her own, but first she has to prove herself to Michelin-starred network founder and effective dictator, Etienne Duvalier. A legend in the world of classic French cuisine as well as a domineering perfectionist, Etienne is sceptical about the culinary abilities of a woman from Hong Kong. To make things more difficult, the master chef is also so gorgeous that Emily can't help being attracted to him.

Emily tries to solve both problems by spiking her luscious profiteroles with an ancient Oriental aphrodisiac. Unfortunately, Harry Sanborne, the low-key, bespectacled producer for Emily's show, samples the delicacies she intends for Etienne's consumption. His powerful reaction to her secret ingredient comes as a pleasant surprise to them both. Harry turns out to be far more impressive in bed than on the set. However, he can't do nearly as much to advance her ambitions as Etienne. Emily tries once more to tempt the exacting M. Duvalier with her special cooking as well as her feminine charms. The outrageous results threaten to end her TV career forever - until Harry steps in to save her reputation and claim her heart.

X-Rated Excerpt  – From Extra Chapter!

The road dead-ended in a parking lot, empty save for our vehicle. He helped me out of the car and walked me over to the iron railing guarding the overlook. The night was crystal clear. Not a wisp of fog obscured the twinkling majesty of the City by the Bay.

I grasped the balustrade, a bit nervous about the sheer drop on the other side. Standing behind me, Harry rubbed his rigid penis against my butt. Meanwhile, his hands snaked around to clasp and knead my breasts. “See what I mean?” he murmured in my ear, twisting my nipples at the same time.

“It’s—uh—it’s beautiful, Harry. But I don’t think…”

“Don’t think, Em. Just trust me.” He continued to fondle my tits with one hand, while sliding the other down over my belly to poke between my thighs. “I’ll bet you’re wet.” He probed through the jersey of my dress, finding my clit with his usual skill. “Yup, I was right. You love a bit of danger.”

“No, not really—ah!” He rocked my bead like a switch, sending spurts of electricity through my limbs. “Oh, God, Harry, we can’t do this here!”

“Why not? You let me fuck you on the studio floor the day after we met.”

“I— Oh, Harry, please…that was different…”

He had my skirt flipped up in back now, and my panties down around my knees. One hand had lodged inside the front of my dress, where he continued to squeeze my engorged breast. Meanwhile, he explored my wet crevice with nimble fingers, thrusting into my pussy, sliding over my lower lips, then making slick circles around my clit.

The smooth head of his bare cock bobbed against the backs of my thighs. How had he managed to get it out of his trousers while still teasing me this way? I reached behind me, wanting to grasp that lovely hardness and share some of my pleasure.

“No!” He caught my hand in a sticky grip and returned it to the iron pipe. “Don’t let go of the rail. Or do I have to tie you there?”

Lightning shot through me. I thought for a moment I’d faint and topple over into the abyss.

“Tie me?” Craning my neck, I tried to read his expression. Was he serious? The shadows made it impossible to tell.

About Lisabet

Lisabet Sarai became addicted to words at an early age. She began reading when she was four. She wrote her first story at five years old and her first poem at seven. Since then, she has written plays, tutorials, scholarly articles, marketing brochures, software specifications, self-help books, press releases, a five-hundred page dissertation, and lots of erotica and erotic romance – nearly fifty single author titles, plus dozens of short stories in various erotic anthologies, including the Lambda winner Where the Girls Are and the IPPIE Best Erotic Book of 2011, Carnal Machines. Her gay scifi erotic romance Quarantine won a Rainbow Awards 2012 Honorable Mention.

Lisabet has more degrees than anyone would ever need, from prestigious educational institutions who would no doubt be deeply embarrassed by her chosen genre.  She has traveled widely and currently lives in Southeast Asia with her indulgent husband and two exceptional felines, where she pursues an alternative career that is completely unrelated to her creative writing.

For more information about Lisabet and her writing, visit her website (http://www.lisabetsarai.com) or her blog Beyond Romance (http://lisabetsarai.blogspot.com)

Saturday 16 November 2013

#MySexySaturday - Hurt So Good...

Sexy Me Crazy ~ @MySexySaturday #MySexySaturday #Saturday7 #MSSWeek25 

Welcome to the 25th week of My Sexy Saturday.

Ever have that special someone who just drives you crazy? I think we’ve all had them. In our sexy novels though, this can be the spice that sets the story on edge, where you can’t wait to read the very next word.

We as writers love to write those types of stories. Yet, we all know that each of us has a different idea of sexy. It can be the boy next door, that hot look, even the book you’re reading now. Sexy has nothing to do with looks or status or even wealth. It doesn’t demand perfection and it doesn’t have pretensions but it does make us want to read those books.

Yes, writers are readers and we love sexy!

From my back list, the couple, that drive each other absolutely mad, have to be Mike and Hailey—That delicious, deep down, achy kind of arousal that borders on pain but is incredibly addictive—Hailey's had it bad for Mike for years, and Mike has only just begun to fight his feelings for Hails. It hurts so good!


He released his hold slowly, and I slid down his body until my feet were back on the floor. The delight fell from his face. My body warmed and my nipples hardened against his chest. He became very still, except for his erection digging into me. Then his hands were in my hair and we dove at each other. Our lips and tongues tangled, our breathing accelerated.

I tugged at the tail of his T-shirt with impatient fingers. He released my lips and raised his arms, helping me to remove his shirt. I pulled the cotton from his chest and over his head. Our eyes locked, and I wondered for a split second if he would stop. If his conscience would take over. He swallowed hard and reached for the hem of my blouse. It was loose enough that we didn’t need to take the time to unbutton it, so I raised my arms and he removed my top.

His eyes roved over the swell of my heaving breasts. He lightly skimmed his hand over my skin as he recaptured my lips. I whimpered into his mouth, feeling weak and dizzy. It felt like heaven to me. I’d waited so long to be kissed this way, by this man. He grazed the side of my breast with his hand. I wriggled and stretched to get closer to him. He spun me around so my back was against the kitchen island, then grabbed my hips and hoisted me up onto the counter. I opened my legs eagerly and accepted him between them. I moaned when his rock-hard cock pressed against my wet, throbbing cunt. I couldn’t help it. He felt incredible.

I wrapped my legs around his hips, holding him to me as I explored his muscular back. I followed the waistband of his jeans around to the button and toyed with it, seeking his permission. When I felt his fingers release the snap on mine, a thrill shot through my body. I undid his jeans and began to ease the zipper down. He mirrored my actions and began to ease his hand inside to cup me. I wiggled to give him room, trembling with the anticipation of his strong fingers finally plunging into my aching pussy.

The phone rang and we jumped apart. He stared at me, his mouth slightly open, his chest heaving. I knew my expression must have been reflecting his.

“Let it ring,” he said breathlessly. I welcomed him back against me as I heard the answering machine pick up. 

He splayed his fingers into my slick, wet heat, sending pulses of delicious, fluttering shock waves through me. He growled deep in his chest. “God, Hails, you’re wet!”

Totally Bound    Amazon Canada    Amazon US    Amazon UK   All Romance Ebooks    Barnes&Noble    BookStrand

Hope you enjoyed the excerpt. Don't forget to check out the rest of this week's My Sexy Saturday participants from the list below.

Have a Sexy Saturday!

Saturday 9 November 2013

#MySexySaturday Not The Boy Next Door

  The rules are simple Post 7 paragraphs or 7 sentences or 7 words from a WIP or published work
For weeks now, we’ve talked about sexy, being sexy, wanting sexy, needing sexy. Yes, all of us need a little sexy in our lives. Sexy is the characters we write, the things they do and the way they act. They can be sexy in the most harrowing of circumstances and yet come across as the sexiest thing alive.
Readers love them, writers love to write them. But sexy is more than the act of making love. Sexy is books. Sexy is reading. Sexy is the boy next door who you’ve seen every day of your life.
Sexy is more than the word means. It really has nothing to do with looks or status. It has to do how a person feels about themselves and their world. It isn’t a size nor does it demand perfection.

So with that prompt from our gracious blog hop host Lynn, this week for My Sexy Saturday, I'm sharing a never before seen excerpt from my upcoming m/f/f ménage, The Best of Both Worlds, the sequel to Streetlight People. My editor and I have been working on edits this week, so why not. 

Andi exhaled heavily and leaned into the caress. Encouraged, I inched closer, until our lips almost touched, silently seeking permission. Andi made up the rest of the distance and kissed me softly, but it was only a quick meeting. Then she backed off, her gaze darting nervously. She wasn’t slightly buzzed, like she’d been the night of our threesome. She couldn’t blame her actions on inebriation this time.

“You want me to take over, don’t you? You want me to make it impossible for you to walk away. Not this time, sweetie. If you want me, come and get me.” And to tip the scale to my favour, I dragged a fingernail over the seam that covered her clit.

The Sequel to Streetlight People -  
The Best of Both Worlds

(Toni's story) ménage m/f/f

Prerelease: 20th December 2013
General Release: 17th January 2013

I hope you enjoyed this excerpt from The Best of Both Worlds. Don't forget to check out the rest of this week's My Sexy Saturday participants from the list below.

Have a Sexy Saturday!

Friday 8 November 2013

I'm Being Interviewed at Female First @FemaleFirst_UK

I'm being interviewed today at Female First; the UK’s number one online women’s celebrity gossip and lifestyle magazine.  I'm talking everything from my latest release with Totally Bound, If You Can't Stand the Heat to why I'm such a hopeless romantic and I also shared some upcoming author news. I hope you'll stop by and check it out. Leave a comment if you'd like.

There's also a steamy excerpt from If You Can't Stand the Heat in Female First's Sexy Story section.

Totally Bound 
Amazon US 
Amazon UK 

Thursday 7 November 2013

Hollywood Bound Gin & Jazz by @MorticiaKnight

Morticia Knight and I decided to swap blogs for the day, both of us having new releases from Totally Bound this past week. Come on in and enjoy an excerpt from Hollywood Bound from Morticia's gritty new Gin and Jazz series...

Hi HK, thank you for having me at your blog today. Everyone be sure to visit my blog afterwards, and see what HK’s up to over there. She has an exciting new release as well – and it features food, my 2nd favourite thing after – you guessed it – SEX ;-) Oh wait, it has lots of that too, so what are you waiting for?

Hollywood Dreams in the Gin & Jazz Era

Hollywood Bound (Gin & Jazz 1), was just released and is only 99 cents! The Gin & Jazz series begins in 1924, and follows the story of the young and innocent Jack Stone as he travels from a vaudeville theatre in New York - with his best friend and new lover Nick - to Hollywood. They hope to find great jobs there working as set builders at a motion picture studio. It’s such a grand adventure because everything is so new to them. From hopping a train, to being intimate for the first time, to the excitement of being in Hollywood – they don’t know what to expect next. But after they arrive, they find that the glitz and glamour of the celluloid kingdom isn’t kind to new hopefuls.

In the following excerpt, the wall that has existed between the two young friends as Nick battles his desires for Jack finally breaks down. It’s the moment that forever changes what they are to one another.

Jack and Nick seek fortune and adventure in the silent film era of Hollywood. But their newly-expressed love is threatened by the heady allure of fame, gin and easy money.

They walked in silence, and Nick was sure that Jack didn’t know what to say to him lately, as Nick had been so stand-offish.

I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but what if I give in, and it doesn’t work out? What if I end up hating myself and him because of it? Then what?

They reached Huyler’s, and it was busier than usual. There were no spots at the counter, and the tables were reserved for people buying food.


“Come on kid. Let’s go outside for a smoke, and we’ll see if it clears up.”

Jack followed him out as he followed him everywhere, and Nick felt that clutching in his chest when he thought of how rotten he treated Jack sometimes. He didn’t mean to. It was just his way of making sure he didn’t get too soft with Jack, which would only lead to other behaviour.

“How much we got left, Nick?”

“Ten cents. Enough for a cup each until we get paid. This is the last smoke though, so we’ll each take turns puffin’, okay?”

Jack had a funny look on his face as though he were turning something over and over in his mind.

“We’re sure to get paid today, right?”

“If Pearson wants to keep his nose on straight, then yeah, we’re gettin’ paid today.”

“So it wouldn’t hurt if we took out another dollar, sat at one of the tables and had a great big pancake breakfast, with syrup and bacon and—”

Nick yanked Jack up by his collar. He was so angry, he could barely see straight.

“We don’t touch anymore of this fuckin’ money—you got it?”

Jack’s eyes were wide like saucers, and his lower lip trembled a bit. Nick let him go and looked away. His lust for Jack was consuming him, changing him into some sort of beast he no longer recognised.

Unable to face Jack, he turned towards him just enough to offer him the cigarette.

“Here. You take the rest.”

“Fuck you Nick!” he yelled, batting the cigarette from Nick’s hand.

Nick swirled all the way around just in time to see Jack running away. The kid was speedy, and Nick spurred into action. He had no idea where Jack was headed, but he was filled with a sudden terror that if he didn’t make things right, he might not ever see him again. That thought alone filled him with dread, and pushed him to move faster.

Just as Jack rounded a corner into one of the many filthy alleys that cut through the city, Nick caught up to him and slammed him against the wall.

“Let me go, you jerk!”

Jack struggled with him, kicking at Nick’s shins, but Nick held Jack fast, grasping his hands above his head and shoving his thigh in between Jack’s legs, giving him no room to get away or strike out at him.

Jack stilled, both of them out of breath from running like crazy men, their chests heaving with their exertion. Nick gazed down at Jack who was being careful to look to the side and not make eye contact. All Nick wanted in that moment was to claim him. To tell Jack that he belonged to him, with him, and nowhere else.

“I hate you,” Jack said softly, still not looking at Nick.

Nick’s heart was breaking, yet he could feel the hard outline of Jack’s dick pressed against his thigh. Jack liked it. He liked having Nick hold him there, restrain him like that. Be rough with him.

“No you don’t.”

Suddenly, Nick used his free hand to turn Jack’s head towards him. Nick pressed his lips against Jack’s and forced his way into his mouth. He explored and probed, enjoying the sweetness of him. It had never felt like this before. The hesitant little pecks he had shared with Penelope had been sterile and cold compared to this glorious heat. He deepened the kiss, sweeping the inside of Jack’s teeth and tongue, memorising every little nuance that was him. His man. His Jack.

Jack had relaxed in Nick’s embrace and was responding to him unreservedly. They were both hard and kissing with such an urgency that Nick knew if they weren’t careful they would end up fucking right there in the alley and risk getting arrested.

He pulled away abruptly, but still held Jack prisoner.

“Not here. We can’t take a chance gettin  caught.”

Jack had tears at the corners of his eyes, and Nick bent down to kiss them gently away.

“There, there, Jacky boy. It’s okay. Everythin’s gonna be okay.”

Jack choked on a little sob.

“I don’t hate you, Nick, I just…”

“Shh. I know. I’m an asshole. But I’m gonna be better. Haven’t I always taken care of you? It’s just because of this past week. There’s been Pearson and Oscar, and no food, and…fuck! That first night in the theatre… 

Look, I ain’t so good with words, but everythin’s gonna be okay, just don’t worry about nothin’.”
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If You Can't Stand The Heat